Figure Flaws: a Rant.

Having recently gotten engaged, I have a whole new perspective on my job. It’s part of my job to read and look at bridal magazines. But now that I’m looking at them as a bride, I started seeing things I’ve previously dismissed: all the articles about hiding my figure flaws and finding the right dress to hid my figure flaws. Yuck. Figure flaws. That does not sound fun.

I don’t like the term ‘figure flaws’. In fact, it offends me.

Now, I understand that not all women are 100% in love with their figures all the time. But figure flaws? That's just rude. It assumes that it’s a given, it assumes the viewer doesn’t accept her figure. It assumes there is something about the bride that is flawed and must be hidden. There are so many beautiful women in the world, for what reason are we focusing on flaws? And why do we even call them that?! What’s with the implication that having curves or not having curves or being tall or short is a flaw? The only thing inclusive in that kind of thinking is that we are all flawed. This is just an observation but even women that don’t look like Gisele are beautiful.

Your figure isn’t flawed.

There might be things you love about your figure more then other things. Okay. So instead of calling the things you like less ‘flaws’, can we all agree to discuss instead the things you want to show off, the things you love? I’m completely in support of finding the dress that works for your body, we all look and feel better in some things then other things. Let’s talk about what you feel awesome wearing. Do you feel like Joan Holloway when you wear a pencil skirt? Fantastic! Do you feel feminine and sexy in a ball gown? Fantastic! Let’s start there.

I’ve had well-meaning friends suggest that I wear a padded bra to my wedding, thinking I guess that a padded bra would create some kind of cleavage. Um, I don’t have cleavage, with or without a padded bra. I know this kind of discussion comes up among friends even if there isn’t a wedding coming up. I would just like to suggest a different perspective in this conversation. My fiancé knew what I looked like when he proposed. He accepted me ‘warts and all’, as the saying goes. I would like to suggest that yours did too. And wouldn’t this whole process be more fun if the conversation was about what makes you feel the most beautiful? And happy?

Women of all shapes and sizes and backgrounds fall in love and get married everyday. Love doesn’t discriminate against different bodies types. Wedding dresses shouldn’t either. Love is inclusive.  Dresses can be too.

I saw a quote in the April issue of Vogue from Alber Elbaz, the fabulous designer of Lanvin in Paris that said, “When I think of women, I don’t think of size or age, I think of beauty.”

I say yes, of course, exactly! And thank you.

Maggi and Dom (how my heart exploded with joy on Sunday)

So, I met Maggi my first semester in design school, it was September of 2003, and it took about 10 minutes for me to realize that we would be friends for a very, very, very long time. She's one of those friends that once you met her, you're not sure how you survived without her.

And Dom, Dom I met as a potential room mate. I kept thinking this is a great guy, then he said, he had 4 sisters and I thought, yep, he is the best kind of person. I think I even said, "I have lots of cute friends" hoping this would make me a good roommate. (It seemed too, I got the room.)

So Maggi came over to help me paint my room, we walked into my new apartment and I said, "This is my new room mate Dom, this is my friend Maggi, she's gonna help me paint."

And then life took over, Maggi ended up moving into our building, she and Dom became friends and neighbors. And I just sat on my hands thinking "would they work together? I think they would work together. Right?"

Anyway, long story short, they fell in love. They fell in love in a way that I am endlessly inspired by.

So when I found out they were getting married, I was a little (okay, totally) over the moon. Two of my favorite people on the planet have fallen in love and are now gonna get hitched. I think my response was, "I get to make the dress cause it's kind of my fault!" (I'm sure they would have met some other way if it wasn't this way, people that belong together find each other.)

This is what we made, lots of layers of peach and ivory silk organza over silk habotai, and then the fascinator with bird cage tulle and more organza.

It's funny, I've made dresses and helped with dresses for people that I'm crazy about before, I made all my siblings wedding clothes (in 2 cases also the clothes of their spouses) I've helped with the dresses of friends that are as wonderful as Maggi and Dom, maybe it's the nature of knowing them or that I just felt like I was already so glad for our friendship before they got together, whatever it was, I would just get teary while sewing. Really happy tears.

So this last Sunday, June 5th, 2011, (7 years and 3 days exactly after they first met) Maggi and Dom got married. And in September they will be blessed with their newest addition. (!!! more joy!)

And my heart just keeps exploding. Thank you both for letting me participate in the beauty of your celebration. To know you both is to love you . . . . .

xoxophae